Past one wk has been terrible...Been staying back late in office till like 9 plus 10 becos of the Demorama last thurs...my bosses wanted us to practise among ourselves n present infront of them so they cld choose the best presenter to represent the co. Demorama is a competition among all other channel resellers (sales division)....every channel reseller will send in their best speaker to compete n see who is the best presenter among all the sales pple....my co. is very small...we only have a total of 6 sales person including me...so not much choice to choose from...To cut things short...they decided to choose me becos of my showmanship...i do not have a very good product knowledge like my other colleagues...however they felt that this competition need someone with more showmanship n able to present the business solutions in a light hearted manner...Therefore all the pressure was on me cos i m not only representing myself but my other colleagues in the co. If i were to do a bad presentation it will reflect badly on my colleagues as well

To be honest with u...i never like the idea of representing my co. cos im not confident on the product knowledge...i can joke here n there but when comes to serious stuff abt the product itself i find tat im still not very smooth at putting across the ideas to pple...When we reach Fuji xerox towers on thurs noon...i was feeling very nervous la...i've never done a presentation infront of so many pple in an auditorium...worse still its infront of all my other sales competitors....wat will they think of me if they see me next time canvassing at raffles place...to make matter worse....they told me i was the 1st person to present....im like wtf??? 1st person to present...wah liao...i dun even noe other pple standards sia...wat if i go there n disgrace myself....Anway...i was trembling at the start of my presentation...i tried to break the ice by cracking small jokes at the start...at the same time it helps me to relax myself...i knew if i became nervous i confirm forget wat to say one...After my presentation i felt rather relieve n satisfied wif myself cos i knew i've done my best...i cld only keep my finger cross while my other competitors present their business solutions to the judges...we were all given 20 mins to present so the whole event took abt 3 hrs....Finally when they announce the results...i was hoping to get top 3...at least something rite...so when the judges announce tat i won 2nd i was quite happy but i knew 2nd was not good enough...for all the effort we put in together i felt tat coming in 2nd was a failure...however i felt the guy who won 1st rilly had a good product knowledge compared to me..After the event...one of the judges came up to me n said i have the potential to become even better n theres room for improvement...i thank her advise n comments n hopefully one day i can become better...i think this event has rilly taught me many things n im sure i will become a better speaker in future...For once i knew hows the feeling of doing a professional presentation infront of a crowd....i wld like to thank my co. and colleagues who has given me this chance to do this and the invaluable advise and moral support they have been giving me.

After the event we went for celebration at cafe cartel and later to Pines for drinks and ktv again...drank alot compared to the previous time at pines...however i didn't merlion there tat nite....R was ard to help me drink some otherwise im sure i will puke there again...After tat we left the place in different cab cos we didn't wan our colleagues or boss to suspect anything...Slept over at her place again n had to wake up earlier to go home n change for work....damn tired sia..

Fri nite celebrated zulu bday at zouk....his fren manage to reserve a table and we ordered many jugs n a flaming lambo to make him drunk....hahha...this is the 1st time i see zulu drunk!!! last yr his bday he drank one whole bottle of martel but still not seh....this time we rilly make him DIE ar!!!! lol~ Was rilly tired n wanted to leave early but becos its his bday i felt i shd stay till the end la...my heart isn't into clubbing anymore

This wk is has been a very lucky wk for me...no! more like God's favour is on me this wk...i've close 2 deals this wk....one was a SPANCO case whereby i sold one unit on the day itself while canvassing at suntec....the other one was a follow up visit n unknowingly their boss decided to upgrade the machine....My commission for this 2 cases is very high cos i quoted them at the very high price....hehe....this mth my salary is gonna be better than my 1st 2 mths pay which was rather pathetic....not forgetting i've got $300 CK tang vouchers for winning 2nd place and a plague from Fuji Xeorx....as the saying goes...u reap wat u sow...the more seeds u sow at the start....the harvest will be more at the end of it...

Gonna catch resident evil wif R later...hehe...so sayonara frenz~

Thurs nite i went over to JC place to collect back 'Sai-kang cheung'....Apparently JC mother was making noise n worried tat she might keep the hamster permanently n turn the hse into a zoo...therefore she asked me to go over her place n collect it tat nite....haizz....wat a waste...tot i cld leave it at her place n unknowingly make her the new owner...heheee...anyway...i promise her i wld take it back frm her tat nite....however i was working very late in the office again for the demorama....so i cld only drive over her place in the middle of the nite....was feeling damn tired ald lor but bo bian promise her i wld take it back tat nite...On the way back tot i cld giv it back to the rightful owner but the rightful owner also dun wan it....even ask me to throw away....im like wtf...how can be so cruel to animals rite....so no choice sai kang cheung is back at my place again...this little fellow rilly stinks man...the moment i put it in my car i cld already smell the stench....eeks....perhaps tats y JC also wan me to take it back asap...lol~.....


Can one rilly love someone but at the same time like another person? There is a fine line between love and like...i do not believe in love at first sight cos love takes time...theres only lust at first sight....u can't say u love someone when u dun even noe the person character....the person might be cute/pretty tats y u r attracted to him/her....in this case its called lust and not love...However...my qn here is can u love someone but at the same time like someone? izzit possible to share ur feelings? Lets say u have a bf/gf for a long time n u love ur bf/gf....den along the way here comes someone whos cute/pretty....n u two start to get close for some reasons...n u start to like this person...so wat happens to ur bf/gf?? do u still love ur bf/gf?? or the feelings for the new guy/gal is juz a crush?? R u being faithful to ur bf/gf becos u ended up liking someone else or izzit signs tat ur current relationship is on rocky stage nw??

Many pple including my relatives r asking me whether if im still going to further my studies overseas....i seriously have no idea at the moment....there r too many things tat i have to consider abt if im going overseas....Part of me wish to pursue a degree overseas but part of me feel like staying in s'pore to work n get a degree at the same time....With regards to work im definitely not going to stay on in my current co. for long...not tat im not enjoying it but in terms of career advancement wise it isn't rilly good....the reason y i took up such a tough job is to gain experience n not becos of the monetary benefits or career advancement....i might have left the co. if i hadn't met R....cos life without R in the office is so boring....

Currently R is facing some serious personal issues n had not report to work for the past 2 days already....without her presence in the office the office has become much quieter n dull...i hope she will turn up for work tml....i can tell tat she rilly has no mood to do anything n shes been cooping herself at home other than last nite whereby she went drinking wif her frenz n got drunk in the end....well...i tried to cheer her up ald n even talking on the phone wif her scares me cos she sound more like one of those nasty customer whom i talk to when doing telemarketing....u rilly dunno when the volcano will erupt....so i guess its best to keep a distance frm her during this period :(

Freaking waste time the past 2 days we stayed behind in the office...i think there is rilly something wrong wif their time management la...suppose to make us stay back to teach us on the product for monday demorama but in the end we were made to discuss the presentation slides....i mean this kinda stuff we can manage on our own during office time wat...dun need to use after office hrs rite....already so tired after a long day of work outside...come back in the evening still need to stay back for discussion...at least it wld be worthwhile staying back if u teach something n we learn new things abt the product rather than staying back juz to do discussion among ourselves...in the end left office abt 9 plus sia...cld see tat everyone was annoyed abt staying back late for nothing...

Anyway...i receive a call frm the finance co. asking me to go down for a 2nd rd of interview...therefore i'll have to bluff my boss tat i'll be canvassing again....hehehe...this time its gonna be a longer interview...wonder wat they gonna do...

Today after work she was suppose to have an appt with her close bro but due to last min changes she ain't meeting him anymore...so we went for dinner at tanjong katong complex....1st time i step into that shopping mall...she brought me to a halal restaurant where she use to work there as a waitress many yrs back...therefore she noes the boss n some of the staff there...the meal was on her as she insisted on paying for it no matter wat i said....i even offered going dutch but she dun wan...so next meal i plan to treat her to some sumptuous buffet la...hopefully this wkend got time to meet her....cos the next couple of days we gotta stay back in office to do some product training for a demo at head office next wk...

Gosh...im starting to fall deeply for her man...everyday my love for her becomes stronger....i try to hold back this feeling but its beyond my human control...even right nw i wish i cld be with her...haizzz...

My dear R is gonna be so bz the next couple of days...gonna meet her frenz n clients the next couple of days after work so no time for me....even tho we work in the same office everyday but we seldom talk much cos each of us have our own things to do....i might be outside office while shes in office doing TM...vice versa...even if we happen to be in office at the same time we can't rilly talk much cos theres other colleagues ard n we dun intend to disclose our relationship to our colleagues la...not too nice rite...if our boss finds out he might not even wan us to work ard the same area....thank goodness her main area is shenton way juz next to mine...so next time might be able to meet her for lunch as its only side by side...but of cos our appt schedule has to be the same la...kinda difficult to plan the same things to do as we r always on the move n fixing new appts wif our client everyday...

Im having 2nd thoughts of studying overseas nw...one reason cld be becos of R...i noe its kinda stupid to put R in the picture but i told myself if i find the special someone b4 i register i might stay in s'pore for her sake...another reason is becos of the high expenditure tat my dad has to fork out juz to let me study abroad...looking at the cost of studying overseas it wld be better use to start a biz wif it...i rather use tat sum of money as a capital to start my own biz....Lastly i feel tat taking a part time degree is good enough since i can actually secure a decent job tat can pay me well at the same time...but den again the down side is tat if i wanna climb the corporate ladder wif a diploma or part time degree...its gonna be very difficult....im having mix feelings as to whether i shd go abroad or enroll at some local uni probably SMU or SIM....One thing for sure...im still determine to get a degree....problem is wld it be overseas or local??

Sat after work went to parkway wif my colleagues to shop for Mark's baby 1 mth old present...we shared the present n got him a baby car seat for his 1st son....chilled at starbucks after tat till almost evening b4 heading back home to rest...some of my colleagues said tat their last chilling out session at some cafeteria was many yrs back...normally they'll juz stay home n rest....tat made me wonder if im gonna be like them when im older....when u get older u tend to spend more time wif family n stay home to take care of kids etc. well...i can't imagine myself being a homely person but den again spending time wif the one u love beats all other things...i wld rather devote my time to the person i love than going out wif frenz...hehe...but of cos i wun zhong xe qin you like 'someone' hor! its all abt time management

At nite i was at zouk cos i promise my frenz i'll be going wif them last wk...actually given a choice i rather not go...i was feeling damn tired n slpy already....in the end i still went to show my face la but i left rather early...my frenz were out to make me drunk knowing tat i din drive to zouk...but i was still sober to noe wats happening ard me....basket...i never lose say i lose....wan me to drink rite....ZZ got his 1st pay n treated us to long island tea...its good to see him earning a good pay nw after all the shit he has been going thru....hes one of the most hard working person i've seen....my best buddy in army...always helping others n doing things chop chop....even right nw hes still working very hard at jurong island doing OT to earn extra income....plus he stays ard my area....so u can imagine his traveling time to work n after work...

Somehow i din had the mood to club n noe other gals now tat i have met R....shes all tat i want...im still not sure if its love tho...but i juz wish to spend more time wif her alone..i hope she feels the same...maybe i feel insecure knowing tat there r other guys still chasing her...guys who r much older n richer than me...guys tat can provide her a shelter over her head...whereas im juz a nobody working juz to keep myself occupied n gain more job experience...i feel like a failure when i put myself up in the society n comparing myself to other successful pple in the working world